The Wilson County Tourism Development Authority is on the lookout for a new Wilson slogan, something that will "brand" the city and do as much for English grammar as "Winston tastes good like a cigarette should."

The tourism folks have hired a Greenville, S.C., (city slogan: "We're not the one in North Carolina") advertising firm to help them find the right "brand" for Wilson. "Branding," if you haven't heard, is the new buzz-word in the consultants world.

Wilson has had a number of "brands" over the years. "Wide-Awake Wilson," "Life the way it's supposed to be" and "World's Greatest Tobacco Market" are among the more recent ones that Wilson has claimed. But those slogans are now considered outdated or stale. Branding people are always looking for the next new thing, something fresh and unheard of, at least within a 50-mile radius.

Branding has gotten so big, I even went to a branding seminar once. I got out without being branded -- in the traditional, cowboy sense.

With my couple of hours of branding experience, I'm offering my expertise for free (in hopes of putting some for-fee consulting firms out of business). Here are a few of the Wilson slogans I developed without working up a sweat or charging anything to an expense account:

* Wilson: City of Beautiful Trees, some of which are still standing.

* Wilson: East of Raleigh; West of Greenville.

* Wilson: The Place to Be (or not to be, that is the question).

* Wilson: Reason to Relax.

* Wilson: Our barbecue keeps you going. And going.

* Wilson: Our corporate park is on drugs.

* Wilson: Don't mention it.

* Wilson: So charming, we even accept tourists and transplants.

* Wilson: Well north of South of the Border.

* Wilson: Drought? What drought?

* Wilson: Not a bitter pill.

* Wilson: Where BB&T began.

* Wilson: The town BB&T left behind (but left the jobs, thank you very much!)

* Wilson: Our tobacco, your lungs.

* Wilson: A river doesn't run through it.

* Wilson: Feel our fiber.

* Wilson: We took on Time Warner.

* Wilson: Retire involved.

* Wilson: Life is good (as long as you have a job).

* Wilson: Our academies used to be called high school.

* Wilson: The rooster has crowed.

* Wilson: Never mind!

* Wilson: You will soon!

* Wilson: Where four-lane roads lead to Raleigh.

* Wilson: A shorter commute than North Raleigh.

* Wilson: Whirligig whimsy.

* Wilson: Sidewalks, someday.

* Wilson: Our water towers above the rest.

* Wilson: It's not the county.

* Wilson: Not far from Rock Ridge.

* Wilson: Don't bypass it.

* Wilson: Easier to spell than Contentnea or Toisnot.

* Wilson: Suburb of Barton College.

* Wilson: Get there from here.

tarleton@wilsontimes.com | 265-7812